Jolly’s Blog

This year has been a bit different than in the past… must be the global warming… er.. global climate change phenomenon. We have been getting rain in January and February. Normally we see it towards the end of the summer with the monsoons.

With the rain and the snow we been getting there has been enough water for us to see some mountain streams. I took my Friday and went hiking to check out the waterfalls and streams. Here’s my favorite picture from the day.

The southwest is great for outdoor activities… more people should appreciate it than do.

I’m amazed sometimes at how comfortable I am in the midst of poverty. I can honestly sit comfortably next to, at the table with, share a meal with and chat with and walk with prostitutes, meth addicts, homeless pregnant moms, Mexican families living in pallet shacks… just about anyone.

Recently this ease with which I can be in the midst of suffering and struggle went too far. Sometimes what I do can be stupid too. Sometimes people think I’m not being safe. Okay I get that, but I’m still here… I’ll keep doing it. But stupid, even inconsiderate I hope that can slowly be left to the side.

Okay the story. My previous post introduced Robert. I’ve known of him for a long time, and just recently gotten to know him better through breakfast burritos, and coffee.

On Sunday night after our Percolator gathering, Greg and I were chit chat’n and as we were getting ready to head home, I heard  Robert yelling about something, so I went to find out what was up. He was not happy, and wasn’t in the mood to talk. When we had talked previously he said he was sleeping without any blankets. So when I saw he was getting ready to bed down for the night I thought, I need to take care of this. John and Abby V had given me some blankets in the morning and so I ran home to get them. Now about 1030 I headed back downtown to find Robert.

This is where the stupidity comes into play. It’s late, I’m alone, and I’m going to try and help an angry homeless guy. Those three should have put my stupidity meter on alert, but no such luck… I take it to a whole new level.

SO… I get back to where Robert had been and I see that he is already laying down and has a blanket… but moving a bit. I don’t know if he’s asleep, but my thought is both crap he already has a blanket, I was wrong, and dang it’s cold he needs more than just that blanket.

So I pull out two of my blankets and begin to cover him up. So far no problem. I get him covered and I should just leave it at that. I call out to him, but he doesn’t answer. So just to make sure he’s gonna be warm (stupidity alarm is going berserk) I bend over and attempt to tuck him in. A 65+ year old homeless man, at night, alone, getting tucked in by… big me… an overly eager blanket toter.

Well, I startle the poor guy and it just goes down hill at this point. I feel like an idiot, I try to convince him I’m not robbing him, I just want him to be warm. This doesn’t work. He doesn’t want the blankets. Leave him alone.

Yeah. I’m an idiot. I think on video this would have been priceless. I’m pretty sure there are some principles here about where a person’s desire to help crosses the line of respect and dignity. I’m pretty sure I crossed them all. It has me thinking.

Later that night I did find a guy who was cold and without any blankets for the night. I helped him out… minus the tuck in.

This morning before our staff meeting, I saw Robert. I have seen this guy around for years… normally riding a three-wheeler. The last couple of weeks he’s been walking, if you can call it that. His body is failing from what I can tell. Years of being on the street, and just being old too I imagine.

I didn’t know Robert’s name until after attending a presentation on resources for the homeless. He was brought up, because if you’ve lived in El Paso and spent any time

downtown or on the West side of town you’ve probably seen him. Here is a picture my friend took of him a few years back… when he had his bike. This morning he told me it had been taken from him.

Today I got a chance to sit with him and chat. He says he is in his 70’s… I’m thinking maybe sixties. He’s not sure when he was born, some time in the thirties is all he could tell me. Robert was a very gracious man. We talked a bit about El Paso, the places we knew in Mexico and how cold it was. He’s been on the street for most of his life. I look forward to seeing more of Robert in the weeks ahead. I know people have tried to get Robert into a home, but his home is the street now. He’s been there so long, anything else would be foreign to him.

I’m okay with that. A coffee, a breakfast burrito, and a good chat with Robert. It made my day, I hope his day was good too.

Give Clean Water to Haiti by donating at givecleanwater.org/donate. These are the same filters we used in Fiji. The goal is to provide 1000 filters to the families in Haiti. These filters will both provide an immediate solution to the families, but it will also provide these families with clean water for their entire lives.

Make a difference today and visit givecleanwater.org.

Do you have any plans as we get ready to jump into the new year? Plans for the year, goals, resolutions, whatever you want to call them? We (Anne and I) have begun to tackle the subject of goals. We’re even going to help our kids set some goals/dreams for 2010 and see where they go with them.

Here are the areas we’re looking at…

Marriage – Finances – Work – Education – Kids – Recreation

Do you do resolutions? Do you set goals on a yearly basis? How do you go about meeting those goals?

it appears to me that there is such an obsession with how many, how big, how fast… how how how…

I get that there is a need to measure, but I honestly get frustrated with the pressure that comes with it.

I honestly don’t know what God thinks when it comes to numbers. I know this though… that when numbers makes a person question his or her own value, then I know he doesn’t like it. Whether it’s what floor you live or work on, how much you weigh, how many zeros are in your salary, etc, etc… I think Jesus looks at it differently than we do.

I’m not sure why I’m caught up in this right now… what I guess I want to say is that Jesus cares that it’s just one burrito.

I like handing out burritos to the homeless on the streets of El Paso. I like to meet the need. I make up 24 burritos to hand out and I like to hand them all out, but I think if I only handed out one it is enough.

How many does Jesus want me to hand out? I don’t think it matters as much as the fact that He wants me to step out my door with the heart to do it.

The longer I’m in the church work gig, the more I realize it’s a work that largely involves the ability to listen and see. Why? Because it involves people and people want to be able to share what is going on in their lives and actually have people hear it. Maybe I’m a bit biased, because I like to listen, much more than I do to talk. But what I have observed over the years is that most people don’t have that place where they can reveal the truth of what’s going on in their lives and I have observed over the years that a lot of people, both inside and outside the church, that they don’t think they can openly, transparently share their struggles in church.

This saddens me.

I spend a lot of time listening and usually as my last post describes the listening usually involves eating too. People want to share and I truly believe that if they are honestly and empathetically listened to, then they are willing to listen themselves even if it is a difficult thing they must listen to.

This was the case with a friend of mine. As we met he was visibly uncomfortable, avoiding eye contact, pacing. Why? We were meeting to discuss some things in his life that were hard to discuss. So we grabbed some food, sat and I broached the subject to get things rolling, then I just ate and listened… and listened… and listened.

I already knew what we were going to discuss, so I knew that what I was going to share was going to require some changes. So I listened and then shared my view and my beliefs concerning the situation and how Biblically as I saw it, the situation needed to play out… which was going to require some conversations and changes that would be uncomfortable. As I finished up, I impressed on him that although this was going to be tough, that we would be walking with him, that he wouldn’t be alone in this and that he isn’t the only one that has ever had to deal with it and that we love you and you need to stop.

His response… “That’s why I love Paseo.”

– coming soon – It’s not how many burritos.

Wednesday would be a good reason, probably not the only reason, but definitely a major contributor.

Here’s what I’m talking about:

Not in that order of course. The correct order would be Village Inn with my regular guys. Then a unscheduled call to meet at Peter Piper for a quick lunch and chit chat. And then the regularly scheduled lunch at Whataburger. I’m honestly not complaining, because for one I like to eat… healthier food would be a preference, but food, yeah I like it. And two, it was not just the food, but the conversation. Food in my view provides the atmosphere for good conversation. Maybe it takes the edge off, I don’t know for sure, but grab some people, throw some food in the mix and you’ll be provided with conversation…

… and…

A few extra pounds at the end of the day. Sadly this is the case for more than one of my days in a week.

And that is the reason, Mr. Jolly is Fat.

It could also be do to the lack of exercise in my life… maybe… I just saying.

coming soon… “…and that’s why I like paseo.”

About two weeks ago I had a hard drive issue. The issue would be a CRASH. I was pretty concerned at first, but honestly now looking back it has been a pretty good blessing. From a hardware point of view for a relatively small amount of money ($70) I was able triple the size of my hard drive…. pretty good deal in my mind.

Better than that even is the fact that I have lost everything. Initially of course I was like, oh crap, three years of docs gone. NO I DIDN’T BACK IT UP. I KNOW. I KNOW.

BUT, that was quickly and has continued to be a nice blessing. I have a clean slate. All those things that I kept, b/c I might need them. Gone. No, “should I keep this.” GONE.

When I got the OS back up, I got to organize my computer better than I had before. Something I would have never done had I had all those files. Now things are clean on my desktop, my documents are all (all three or four of them at this point) are organized… and the future ones will be too.

AND it makes me have to use my creativity again. Instead of thinking, oh I think I’ve got a copy of last years doc, I have to rethink, recreate, reevaluate everything and start from scratch.

It’s been good. About every other day or so, I’ll think of something I need and have a moment of “Ugh,” but it is quickly replaced with, what can I do this time.

— coming soon…. why is mr. jolly so fat.

It has been nearly twenty years since I spent hours a day in the pool. It appears this is my only option for exercise from here on out. After my visit to the doctor today it appears my days of running jumping karate chopping kick ball’n and smear the queer’n are over.

Time for this guy to strap on the speedo and dive into the water again…. minus that speedo part.